Congratulations on your feature-length directorial debut! How has it been promoting a film during the pandemic?
There's always the little bit of a panic when [my phone camera] orientation is a little off, or like I started to do my last interview with my screen all the way to the side and we had to fix it. It keeps it new and fresh. I've done a lot of press in my life, and I did have to promote another movie this fall. And so, that was my first sort of junket in my living room. It's fine. It's weird. We're all getting by the way that you know how to best.
How did you get started on the other side of the camera?
Well, I've been working as an actress since I was 11 in the industry, and it's meant that I've been on a lot of sets. Now that I'm in my 40s, I reached this point where I realized that I had a lot more set experience than a lot of the other people on the set. And I found that to be kind of empowering. I've always been interested in the technological aspects of directing, but was self-conscious and honestly, a bit disempowered, to be considering myself taking on what is normally a conventionally male profession.
But recently in the past couple of years, many of my associates in the industry have told me that there's just not enough female directors, and it kind of put a little bee in my bonnet. And so, I started really studying the stuff that I felt like I was more of a novice at, and I loved studying it. I started shadowing really amazing directors who became my mentors and have really learned a lot. I directed a short film [Meats] that went to Sundance that I was really proud of. And then Lifetime took a shot at me, and I was so honored.
You've been in Lifetime movies before, so if anyone knows how to make one, it's going to be you.
I mean, not necessarily. What's the Ratatouille quote that's like, "Just because you've been in the kitchen, doesn't mean you can cook." You know? I was self-conscious of that, which I think motivated me to really be overly prepared when it came to actually taking on the job. And that meant that for a solid year, I really cut back on auditioning and threw myself into studying. So I read a ton of books. I took classes, I shadowed, and really had a pretty good understanding of what the job was when I started prep on this movie ... I was saying that I've sort of created my own little grad school program for myself.
Was there anything that surprised you about being on the other side of the filmmaking process?
I really enjoyed not having to go into hair and makeup and I enjoyed not having to wear heels. I mean, I had my little director uniform, which was sneakers, jeans, a button-down shirt, and a fanny pack, and my hair in braids and a baseball cap. It was really fun to feel like first and foremost, I was getting to craft a story objectively. I think sometimes as an actor, I get kind of lost in the character, and it becomes a lot about, "What shoes am I wearing," and "Ooh, that lipstick doesn't feel right," and it's kind of a lot more introspective. But as a director ... I got to compile my vision which was of course very empowering but of course also really, really fun and really cool that the second I would say, "All right, that's a wrap on the day," we'd jump in the car and be home.
I didn't have to wash my face. It wasn't about how I looked. ... I remember I delivered [Circle of Deception to Lifetime] in August [2020], and then I went right into being number one in another movie in September. And I remember thinking when I went in for my first fitting, "I'm not just a brain anymore, I miss just being a brain," and all these people are looking at my body and trying to figure out how to hang clothes on it. And I miss being able to be on that side and it was kind of a weird transition. I mean, listen, I love acting. I'm always going to be an actress as well, but the difference experiences were very ... It was really interesting to go back and forth, and I look forward to doing that more."
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